The quarandiaries: Safer at home together
A peek into real sex lives during quarantine
For many of us, quarantine is upending the rhythm of our daily lives, including what goes down between the sheets, so we asked friends of Coral to keep a sex diary for one week during quarantine. Here’s what a 41-year-old married man living in the Bay Area recorded.
Sundays are usually “sex day” with my wife. We started scheduling sex a couple of years ago because we typically have busy schedules and it helped us have more sex more regularly. We both want to have sex more often, but it’s hard to find the motivation, and today’s no exception. You’d think being stuck at home together with nothing else to do would mean we’re going at it like rabbits, but I think we’re both too distracted. I know I am. After brunch, my wife gives me a long, slow kiss, but when I don’t take it further I can tell she’s kind of relieved. We do our own things for the rest of the day. I mostly read the news.
It was good to spend the day apart (or at least in separate rooms) even though the news was a real rabbit hole. We’ve had some much-needed space from each other, though, so we’re more affectionate tonight while watching TV. My wife really likes it when I rub her feet, and just doing something that makes her feel good makes me happy. It’s not even sexual, but it feels like a way for us to connect. That must sound lame from the outside, but I swear, it’s not a bad thing.
I’m on hold with unemployment for what feels like an eternity, and never actually get to talk to a human being. I finally give up. Sex is literally the last thing on my mind.
My wife and I talk pretty candidly about the fact that we skipped sex on Sunday. She’s stressed too, but it’s making her more stressed out to worry about our sex life. I tell her that it’s no big deal, that we can have sex tonight, but she says she’s not in the mood. I’m not either, so that works out. Instead we snuggle before bed. I really love her and I am attracted to her. It’s just that life circumstances get in the way.
I have the house to myself for an hour while my wife goes for a jog. I stayed at home ostensibly to look for work, although I don’t even know where to begin. It occurs to me that I could jerk off while she’s out, but I don’t even feel like it. Aren’t guys supposed to want sex and jerk off all the time? Now I’m the one who’s worried.
I fall down the rabbit hole of the news hard this afternoon and notice a bunch of headlines wondering if there’ll be a baby boom after the lockdown. If my marriage is any indication, not likely. Still, it makes me think that I should make more of an effort, so I schedule a date night for Friday with my wife.
I wake up from a sex dream with a half-chub. Maybe I’m actually hornier than I think?
My wife’s on a run again, so I decide to jerk off, not really because I’m horny (I’m not) but because I know it’ll feel good once I do it. I break out the lotion and come in about one minute flat. It does feel pretty good, but almost like maintenance sex with myself.
I feel a little more confident today, so I give my wife a kiss and tell her how beautiful she looks. She laughs and says I’m a liar because she’s in sweats and hasn’t brushed her hair, but I can tell she appreciates the compliment. She gives me a hug and cups my ass. We’re flirting.
After dinner I offer to give her a massage. Sex often starts this way for us. I start by rubbing her feet and make my way up her calves and thighs. I take off her panties and really take my time teasing her before touching her clit. I go down on her for a while until she pulls me up, but I tell her I want to make her come and go back to licking her clit. After she comes, she asks me if I want her to go down on me but it’s getting late and I can tell she’s tired. We just snuggle for a while and fall asleep. Fine with me.
After we wake up, my wife gets me hard and goes down on me, and this time I’m ready to receive the attention. Maybe because I’m not totally awake yet and I don’t have time to get stressed about the news. It doesn’t last very long (I guess I needed it more than I knew) but it’s great. We snuggle for about a minute before getting on with our days. I think I see sex as requiring a lot more effort than it actually does. We didn’t fuck, obviously, but we both came in the last 24 hours. What’s wrong with that? What were we both so worried about?
Date night’s a little weird in quarantine, but we do our best to make it fun by cooking a nice dinner and playing trivial pursuit. It’s a fun night, actually, and I feel more connected to her than I have in a while.
We go for a jog together this morning. It feels good to exercise. I need to do it more often, especially when I’m stressed.
We kiss for a while tonight. I can’t remember the last time we made out, but it has me looking forward to Sunday.