Journal

How Couples Can Deal with Sex After Cancer

Struggling with a cancer diagnosis? Cancer -- and its treatment -- can be overwhelming, on both a physical and an emotional level. And while this may not be on your mind at first, it can even affect your sex life.

How can you make your intimate life a priority again after a cancer diagnosis?

First of all, don't forget about your loved ones. Communicate about all desires, insecurities, and concerns. It can be difficult for your friends, family, and loved ones to understand what you're going through. After all, they're not clairvoyant. Most likely, they feel paralyzed by uncertainty right now, unsure whether to keep you company or leave you alone ... entertain you or have the tough conversations ... remain upbeat or keep their minds open to more serious and potentially upsetting conversations. While you have enough on your plate without worrying about their comfort levels, it can be personally beneficial to help them help you.

Let's face it: When you're busy working through treatment and taking care of kids and careers, it's easy to simply run out of steam before finding the time and space to tend to your relationship on a regular basis. Even couples who love each other and want their relationships to be lively, sexy, and full of affection still find themselves feeling out of sync and out of practice. A sure sign that not much is going on inside the bedroom is when there's a lack of communication outside the bedroom. Communicate as much as you can.

Then, have some fantastic sex! Even if that means redefining what sex is. You shouldn't allow cancer to sabotage your romantic life. Take the time to get to know your bodies again, exploring how your hot buttons have changed, and what you can do to change your routine for the better. Rewrite your sexual script and take this opportunity to make your sex life even better than before!

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