Should you try pegging?

Find out if the hottest sex act is right for you

Written by Abby Lee Hood

If you’ve spent any time at all on TikTok you know trends come and go incredibly fast. Dance moves, role playing videos and trends are labelled old news seemingly after just days, with creators using captions like “sorry I’m late to the trend!” before you’ve even had a chance to realize what’s going on.

So it’s surprising when a trend sticks around, and perhaps no trend has had as much staying power on TikTok as pegging. Girls, guys and nonbinary folks love posting about their kinky habits (if you plan to interact, remember before commenting there are lots of minors on the app) and none more so than pegging, which is typically thought of as a cisgender women using a strap-on to penetrate a cis man.

What is pegging anyways?

The term was coined in the early 2000s by sex writer Dan Savage, but since then the concept has expanded from being solely for cis hetero folks. All genders and orientations can participate in pegging; the main premise is a strap-on plus anal play. According to this VICE article about the TikTok trend’s popularity, the practice isn’t new. It’s been around for more than 300 years!

Our own in-house Coral sex coaches and experts say it’s important to remember that pegging is a pleasurable, erotic practice. It doesn’t affect your gender representation or sexuality. In fact, you may find pegging hot for many reasons. This could include the prostate stimulation, but it could also be about seeing your partner enjoy being empowered or switching up typical relationship roles.

“It’s this simple: the prostate is a source of great pleasure and sensation,” says Zoë Kors, in-house Coral sex coach. “If you find pegging erotic, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are gay or bisexual. Your arousal might be connected to seeing your partner wear the strap-on, or the experience of submitting to you partner in a way that most (cis) men aren’t accustomed to.”

Who wouldn’t want to give their SO a chance to try something new and take the reins? However, curiosity and interest doesn’t mean you’re ready to dive in just yet. Kors says communication is a crucial part of getting consent, especially for anyone new to anal play.

“This is a sensitive area of the peggee’s body and especially since the pegger won’t have the benefit of sensation in the dildo they are using, the utmost care needs to be taken,” Kors says. Agreeing on a system of measuring pleasure or discomfort will not only make the experience more enjoyable, but is also a vehicle for connection and bonding. I recommend using red, yellow and green. I also recommend a safe word which when invoked, would stop all play immediately.”

Isn’t pegging uncomfortable?

Many cis men will have heard about their prostates and that stimulating them can be extremely pleasurable, leading to orgasm on its own. Kors says stimulating the prostate during solo masturbation by stroking and pressing the outside of the scrotum can be helpful to build up to pegging because it gives a hint of how powerful internal stimulation can be.

However, that doesn’t mean you won’t be nervous your first time. Dr. Kristen Mark, Coral's resident sex expert, says it’s normal to be afraid of anal penetration since the area is so vulnerable and sensitive. But it doesn’t have to hurt, and unless that’s part of your kinky play, it shouldn’t.

“Being worried about pain is understandable, but that worry may actually end up making it so that you can’t relax and enjoy the activity,” Dr. Mark says. “Lube and taking it slow will go a long way. Make sure that you have some smaller insertion first, perhaps of a finger, in order to prepare for the main event.”

Starting small and working your way up to penetration is a great warm-up, and it’s okay if it takes weeks, or even months. Massaging a partner’s ass, rubbing a finger slowly around the anus and simply touching the entrance are great ways to practice.

Okay, so you’ve heard how hot it can be to let your SO try something new, and you know prostate stimulation is incredibly pleasurable. What’s next? Here are our pegging best practices to get you started.

• Start small: Finger penetration is a great first step, as are smaller butt plugs. When you’re ready, consider moving up to a small, semi-flexible strap-on dildo. Kors says fabric strap-on harnesses are easier to clean than leather, and may be a great option for beginners.
• Start slow: Even if you start small, going too quickly could still be uncomfortable. Dr. Mark says to let the receiver control the speed and depth and to always listen to requests while pegging. You might even think about trying anal play in front of a mirror; you’ll be able to see and react to your partner’s facial expressions, and know if they seem to be enjoying themselves.
• Lube and aftercare: You can never, ever have too much lube. Lube is a must for anal play because the anus doesn’t self-lubricate in the same way a vagina does, and it makes the process much smoother. It’s also worth noting there’s just no way of getting around what comes of our butts. While it’s unlikely your partner will actually poop during anal sex, residue is possible. You may want to consider having a damp towel nearby to help with cleanup, and remember that somebody who has just been penetrated will probably appreciate gentle help with cleaning, or may feel embarrassed. Compassionate aftercare is important!

There are so many reasons to love pegging, and the powerful orgasms you can achieve are only a fraction of them. If you decide to, as Dr. Mark says, add a new tool in your kit of sexual play, we hope you’ll follow best practices for the most pleasure possible. You can always brush up on the other skills you’ll need, like foreplay and dirty talk, on the Coral Journal before diving in.

Sexual exploration can help reinvigorate your sex life. Even if you don’t build all the way up to pegging, anal play on any scale can be exciting and erotic.