Journal

After the Affair: Can a Person Heal from Infidelity

Absolutely. After the pain of infidelity has been mined and trust has been firmly restored, a couple can learn some important lessons that will help solidify their relationship. The irony is that sometimes an infidelity can be a catalyst for creating an even better relationship, by bringing hidden and repressed issue to the surface.

A starting point for discovering the silver lining of an emotional affair is to discuss what the unfaithful partner liked about himself or herself while having the other relationship. Are aspects that can be fostered in your relationship? For instance, maybe he felt romantic and generous, and can start to surprise you with little gifts. Or, maybe you felt sexy and attractive, and can find ways to elicit those feelings in your partner.

Other relationship strengths that can grow out of one partner's infidelity include: 


Once the dust has settled after a disclosure of infidelity and a couple wants to try to make the relationship work, it's important to begin creating an atmosphere of warmth and affection. Often, it will take some effort, especially on the part of the betrayed partner, but reconnecting sexually can be an important route to healing:



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