Why May is the month you should finally try mutual masturbation

The benefits of practicing solo sex with a partner

Written by Abigail Swoap

Masturbation is typically thought of as an act that you do on your own, but there are endless benefits to practicing solo sex with a partner, including: deepening connection and intimacy, teaching your partner more about your body and improving overall sexual pleasure in your relationship. 

It’s never not the right time to mutually masturbate, so why not start now? Here are a few different scenarios in which self-pleasuring with a partner is particularly powerful.

For younger or newer partners: It helps you learn about your own (and each other’s!) bodies

Research has shown that among heterosexual teenagers who don’t want to try penetrative sex yet, mutual masturbation is more common than other more risky non-vaginal sexual acts, such as oral sex. In fact, in a nationally representative study, about 20 percent of 16- and 17-year-olds reported having tried mutual masturbation. It is a great way to grow more familiar with your own body, learn what feels good, and show your partner what you like. 

For anyone looking to prioritize their health: It’s the safest form of partnered sex there is!

The next time you’re getting hot and heavy but you’re still waiting on STI results or you don’t have access to a barrier method, solo sex in tandem might be the answer! Mutual masturbation allows you to be sexually intimate with a partner in a less risky way than having sex that involves fluid bonding. If you are using mutual masturbation as a way to have 100% safe sex, just make sure you don’t touch your own genitals and then your partner’s with the same hand. 

For couples who’ve just had a child: It allows you to maintain intimacy while your body recovers

Childbirth can be very difficult on the body, and it can take a while to get back to a place where penetrative sex is pleasurable for partners with vulvas. Mutual masturbation is the perfect fix for couples looking to remain physically intimate with each other during recovery. Bonus: it’ll probably teach you something new about your partner’s pleasure that you didn’t know before, so you’ll return to partnered sex more equipped than ever. 

For couples who have been together a while: It will introduce some novelty!

When you’ve in a long term relationship, it’s easy to fall into a sex routine. Mutual masturbation can get you out of any sexual rut, and the best part is that there are so many ways to do it! You can self-pleasure at the same time while making out, take turns watching each other, watch some ethical porn together, or try some combination of all three. 

For people who experience ED or people with vulvas who experience painful sex: It’s an empowering alternative 

Mutual masturbation allows people with penises who don’t have as reliable of an erection to engage in pleasurable sex without any pressure to get hard. It’s also helpful for people with vaginismus or who otherwise experience painful intercourse. Solo sex is an intimate alternative where you’re in total control, so you can avoid pain and focus on what feels good. 

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