For moms and dads, sleep is often more satisfying than sex

I don't care what anybody says, including my wife, sleep is better than sex. I do it seven days a week, I can last all night, and I don't have to cuddle. Could anything be hotter than sleep? Okay, of course I'm joking...Sort of. With a six-year old son who's more scared of the monsters in the night than the monster I can be in the morning, "sleepus-interruptus" is a regular occurrence.

As a sex therapist, I'm not usually susprised when a bunch of new stats and studies hits my desk, but not too long ago TODAY conducted a poll in conjunction with about how long some people have gone without sex, and 30 percent said a few months, 24 percent said a few years, 22 percent said about a year. It was that last part about a year that surprised me. A whole year! Some studies estimate that nearly 50 million Americans are stuck in a rut, and I bet if you asked a bunch of those people what's going on they'd say that they're just too tired to have sex. And that's especially true of parents, (dads included!)

But the truth is, sex isn't tiring, it's rejuvenating. Sex relieves stress, helps with sleep, releases feel-good endorphins and boosts immunity. In fact so essential is sex to not-being-tired, I'd like to offer the following tips for getting the yawns out of your sex life and would love to hear your own suggestions:

  1. Just do it! Sex begets sex and studies show that when you stop having sex your testosterone levels go down and you lose interest in sex. So my suggestion, "try it, you'll like it." It's easy to forget how much fun sex can be, and just having sex once a week will put you back in a regular groove.
  2. Exercise and eat right. Your sexual health is connected to your overall health, and it's no surprise that people who have sex more frequently are also healthier overall. If you're too tired for sex, it probably means you're too tired in other areas as well, and that you're not taking care of yourself as much as you should be.
  3. Minimize stress. Not only does stress release cortisol, which inhibits testosterone, but studies have also shown that for a woman to want to have sex (and to enjoy it) parts of the female brain associated with outside stressors need to deactivate. So figure out what's stressing you out and put together a plan with your partner to deal with it.
  4. Turn off (your computers), so you have some time to tune-in to your partner and turn on. When you look at all the time that gets sucked up by Facebook, surfing the web, and email, no wonder you're plopping in to bed exhausted and spent. Is your friend from the second grade who lives halfway across the country really more important than your sex life?
  5. Do it in the morning. Come on folks, that's what Saturday morning cartoons are there for!

For now, sleep and I will just have to content ourselves with a long-distance relationship. But I won't give up on us: some day we'll be together for a full eight hours. In the meantime I guess I'll just have to settle for sex. Which actually is pretty darn good.

Haven’t installed it yet?