3 oral pleasure techniques you have to try
A different kind of bucket list!
Written by Abby Lee Hood
If there’s one universal truth about having a clitoris, it’s that finding and pleasing it feels really good. No matter your gender, sexual orientation or sexual preferences, there’s bound to be something your clit loves to feel!
But just because something feels good doesn’t mean we can get lazy or stuck in our routines. If you have a clitoris or want to please a partner with a vulva, it can be easy to fall into using the same techniques over and over, so we’re here to help! It’s important to remember that intimacy impacts our overall sexual health
and even our mental health, so trying new things in bed and making sure our partners are having a good time should be a priority.
Here are three excellent oral sex techniques your clitoris, and your partner’s tongue, are sure to enjoy.
Milkshake Mode: Gentle, clitoral oral suction
One of our personal favorite oral sex techniques for the clitoris and vulva is often described as “sucking a milkshake through a straw.” Suction is such a popular, yet often-overlooked, technique to please the clitoris. Let’s dive in!
Begin by ensuring your partner is aroused. The clitoris is made of erectile tissue, and it can be a little sensitive before foreplay. Make sure to focus on kissing, touching, petting, and other kinds of sensual foreplay before engaging in oral sex. When your partner is ready, slowly make your way down to their vulva and begin applying tongue pressure and movement to the outer labia, or vulva lips. Work your way toward the clitoris with your lips and tongue, moving slowly.
When you reach the clitoris, begin using a gentle sucking motion on the clitoris, either around the head or on it, if that’s not too much sensation for your partner. Be sure not to engage teeth (unless your partner asks!) as this can tear sensitive tissues and cause pain. Use your lips to form the suction cup and suck like you would on a straw, gently but firmly. Enjoy the reaction your partner has and check in frequently, asking questions like, “Does this feel good?” or “Should I try this another way?”
Circle Back: Varied circular clitoral stimulation
Sometimes suction can become a little overwhelming if applied continuously to the clitoral head for too long. That’s why those continued consent questions are important! We recommend using varied approaches to avoid discomfort and over-stimulation.
You can also try moving your tongue in circles on the clitorial head and around it, as well as on the labia. These circles can be fast or slow, light or pressured, depending on what your partner wants. We still recommend checking in and asking, “Is this fast enough?” or “Do you want more pressure?” These questions ensure everyone is having a good time, and you don’t need to stress over reading your partner’s mind!
If you’re new to oral sex entirely, you might also want to check out the top 10 things you need to know about vulvas and vaginas
. There’s no shame in reviewing the complicated anatomy! After all, these lessons are rarely taught in sex ed and usually learned through whispered gossip. Not a great source if you ask us!
All Around Town: Pleasing more than the clitoral head
Last but certainly not least, remember that there’s more than just the clitoral head! It bears repeating that continous stimulation directly on the cltioral bulb can become a little overbearing. Plus, there’s a world full of thousands of nerve endings in the clitoris that extend into the labia and internal wall. In fact, some experts consider the G-spot the “internal root” of the clitoris, according to the cult classic She Comes First, written by Coral advisor Ian Kerner.
Try those same suction movements and circular motions on the outer and inner labia. You can gently pull the vulva lips into your mouth, remembering to exclude teeth, and you can circle your tongue near the vaginal opening. Some partners may also enjoy having a tongue inserted into their vagina, too, but remember to use dental dams
and internal condoms when appropriate to ensure safer sex and less STI transmission risk.
The clitoris sort of looks like a wishbone, so expand your focus beyond just the little “pearl” visible to the eye. Your partner is sure to love this generous, lavish oral sex approach!
How and when to use clitoral and vulva oral sex techniques
Whether you use these techniques as foreplay to ramp up to penetrative sex or simply want to avoid p-in-v during say, a menstrual cycle, we know these techniques are sure to please. Vary up your oral play to keep your partner’s clitoris singing.
And remember, orgasm may not always be your ultimate goal! Intimate moments should be enjoyed without the pressure of performance. The point is simply to spend time together and explore each other’s bodies.