By Madeleine Castellanos, M.D.
When it comes to sex and the male member, the laws of physics don't always apply. What goes up sometimes comes down all too quickly, or sometimes stays up all too long. Never-ending stamina (and an always-hard penis) may sound great on paper, but in reality, it can be awkward and exhausting for both of you.
This condition, delayed ejaculation (DE), used to be relatively rare compared to other male sexual issues like erectile disorder (ED) and premature ejaculation (PE), but as I discuss in my new book Penis Problems: A Men's Guide, DE is rapidly becoming a major issue.
One of the major reasons is the rapid proliferation of Internet porn. These days, all you have to do is log on to your laptop to be a few clicks away from everything from the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue to hardcore video clips. Easy access to porn has made frequent masturbation among men more common, which turn can increase the time it takes to reach orgasm and ejaculate during real sex. With so many varieties of porn at your fingertips, you may get in the habit of having a steady flow of sexual novelty and intense visual stimulation and therefore have a more difficult time reaching peak levels of sexual arousal with your real-world partner.
But unlike PE, DE generally isn't a condition you're born with. Instead it can be triggered or influenced by a number of different factors:
If you're dealing with DE, what can you do?
DE can be challenging, but in many cases, it can be managed fairly easily. Communication is half the battle: You can discuss which positions work better for your excitement and avoid those which are not as helpful. Most importantly, it helps your partner understand that it is not her fault.
Women may think that they are not attractive or sexy enough, or they may wonder if you have lost interest in her. Reassure her of the way you feel and that you are going to explore why this is happening at this time.