Tease him to please him

10 tips for pleasing a man

Written by Jennifer Hanson

So, you’ve gotten over the initial getting-to-know-him phase and are ready to jump into some sexual forays. Or maybe you’ve been with him for a while and just need to brush up on other ways to please your man. This guide has all you need no matter where you’re at.

First things first: building trust

When it comes to intimacy, it is common for men to not be as open or experienced in dealing with their feelings as women are. One way to get around this is to be open about your feelings with him, and be supportive when he confides something he might be self-conscious about. For example, only about 55% of men are satisfied with their penis size,1 so starting out with this level of trust can bring both of you together and make it easier to please your man. Both of you know you can be candid with each other without judgment, and this in itself can lead to being more adventurous together.

It takes two to tango

This may not come as a surprise, but sex is about both of you! It is also a reflection of both of your moods, days, states of mind and how you’re feeling about each other in the moment. The more you are able to communicate and embrace sex, the more your partner will feel comfortable with you pleasing him. It isn’t hard to pick up on a bad mood from someone, and men won’t feel great about you trying to get hot and heavy when your heart’s not in it. So next time you want to please your man, make sure you’re just as into it as you want him to be!

This can also apply to showing him how to touch you. He wants to know what gets you going just as much as you want to know about him, so don’t be shy in showing him. If he likes going down on you, get comfortable with him lavishing pleasure on you. Chances are it will make the build-up even more intense.

Tease to please

Assuming your head is in the right place, the next step is to turn on the charm. There are different ways to tease him that will have him begging for more. Try laying a passionate kiss on him out of nowhere and then walking away. If things are getting intense, try ghosting your lips over his skin before actually kissing him anywhere. The idea with teasing is to work him up and make him want things that are just out of reach. You can decide how long you want to hold out or what your rules are, but this technique should please him in no time.

Lingering foreplay

Studies have shown that both men and women desire around 18 minutes of foreplay, but heterosexual men, on average, only dedicate about 13 minutes to foreplay,2 why not draw it out even longer? Spend a little more time making out with him or don’t allow him to take off your clothes (yet). Work things up and make him wait, the result will be even hotter and heavier pleasure for both of you.

Be vocal

Have you ever watched a love scene in a movie? Sometimes they’re subtle, sometimes they’re over the top, but the characters are never silent. Pleasing your man may not be exactly like a movie, but considering 63% of men like dirty talking,3 the proof is there. Don’t be afraid to let your sexy side out. If you’re nervous about dirty talking, work on moaning more first and telling him what you like in the moment. Men want to know they’re driving you wild with lust, so don’t hesitate to show him it’s true!

Try a toy

Maybe you’ve thought about introducing a toy, but you were worried it would turn your partner off. Various studies are a reminder that this train of thought couldn’t be further from the truth. Introducing a toy (a vibrator in this case) directly ties sexual pleasure to the perception of partner enjoyment,4 and contrary to popular belief it was appealing to men! Also, since about 53% of women5 and 79% of gay men reported using sex toys,6 it really is not as taboo as you might think. $15 billion per year is spent on sex toys,7 so you won’t be alone if you decide to try one!

Change location

Whether this involves going on a trip or just having a romp in the kitchen, changing the location of where you get down and dirty is a great way to please a man. 85% of women and 83% of men3 reported having sex outside the bedroom as being one of the most desirable turn-ons. Between different angles or positions and feeling risqué for doing it outside of the bedroom, this is ideal for both of you to experiment with.

Use your mouth

One of the best ways to directly please a man is with your mouth. You’ve done a lot of talking and teasing up to this point, but getting acquainted with giving fantastic blowjobs is a great next step. Be mindful of your teeth and keep your tongue and lips active the whole time. A soft amount of suction is ideal for even more stimulation. If the position is right, look up at him every now and then to make sure he’s enjoying himself. Let him guide you into a rhythm if he likes that. 95% of heterosexual men and 89% of gay men usually or always orgasm when getting intimate,8 and a blowjob is an excellent way to enhance build-up or make him come.

Switch things up

It’s easy to end up in the same cycle with sex when you’re only doing one or two positions and that’s it. However, this can be a great place to change things and please your man. If he’s always the one on top, try riding him and see how it feels for both of you. If missionary is your go-to, try flipping onto your knees for doggy style. Check out this handy guide for some inspiration. New angles and positions might be what you both need to spice up your sex life.

Praise & communicate

After your escapades are over and done with, be willing to communicate openly again. First and foremost, make sure to compliment him when he did something mind blowing. Maybe he gave you an earth-shattering orgasm, or he tried something really kinky that made the sex ten times hotter. Whatever it was, don’t hesitate to tell him about it. Most men thrive off of praise, so reinforcing his efforts will also encourage him to continue being adventurous.

That being said, if he did something that was a little much or didn’t quite turn you on, try giving him feedback with a compliment. “I loved that you felt risky enough to try X, but it didn’t feel as great as I thought it would. Maybe next time we could try Y and see if that’s better?” This communication combined with praise will show him you’re not trying to tear him down and still want to please him in other ways.

Sometimes it’s the little ways we try to please that really end up hitting home. These tips, whether they are applied once, or many ways are sure-fire ways to please a man in bed.

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